My Top Ten Questions For Visitors To The “N” (as in Naked) Resort

a dense forest
a dense forest

Hon, if you read my last post you’ll know what the “N” in The “N” Resort stands for.  If not, let me fill you in.  It stands for naked, as in your birthday suit, as in sans clothing!  On a van ride from the airport in Jamaica, I chatted with a friendly, funny and extremely tan couple who frequent the resort.  Since discovering what “N” stands for, questions have swirled in my head like hot fudge swirled on ice cream with a cherry on top!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging.  As far as I’m concerned, just because I’m not comfortable parading around like the Emperor who lost his clothes doesn’t mean other people shouldn’t.  In fact, I’d be considered a heretic by the Puritans (why I’m not that modest might be a future blog post), and my teenagers would tell you that what comes out of my mouth is completely inappropriate (motto for getting through the teenage years with triplets:  Puberty is fun!).

But, everyone has their comfort level and putting on something to go out in public is mine.  Besides, I studied fashion and there’s always a cute new bathing suit, coverup, t-shirt, shorts and dress to wear!

Here are my Top Ten Questions For Visitors To The “N” Resort:

1.  Is it SANS clothing or clothing OPTIONAL?

2.  So, you don’t get dressed up for dinner?

3.  Question # 2 leads me to…Do you eat all your meals in your birthday suit?

4. What kind of chairs do you sit on?  Metal gets hot, plastic and leather are sticky and cloth just doesn’t seem sanitary.  Wood–the chairs must be wood.  Oh, but what about splinters?

5.  Are the waiters and waitresses also in their birthday suits?  The bartender? The lifeguards?

6.  Do you reapply sunblock?  This is an important question, trust me!  I’ll explain in a future blog post.

7.  Isn’t it awkward if you bump into someone, bend over, or have a “food baby belly” after a big meal?  (sorry if I’m getting too graphic but once you’ve been pulled in, there’s no turning back!)

8.  Do you wear pajamas to bed?

The last two questions I can ask on a G-rated blog…

9.  What happens if you’re happy? (really happy!)

10.  And…what’s “in?”  Does it depend on what part of the world you’re from?  Dense forests? Forests cleared for subdivisions? Or deforestation?

Do you have any G-rated questions?  Or answers to my Top Ten?  If so, hon, I’d love to hear them!


14 thoughts on “My Top Ten Questions For Visitors To The “N” (as in Naked) Resort

  1. Pingback: Beach Blanket Bingo | Bmore energy

  2. My husband used to go to a resort like you described in Germany , called “EFCACA” or FCC? The scenes he described: people lining up with trays to select their food in the cafeteria. Or in the evening,couples dancing the lindy,waltz,cha cha naked. I laughed every time I envisioned the rounded sunburnt women and their beer bellied men dancing together. One year my husband told me we were going their for vacation, and that’s when I stopped laughing!!! That was his idea of a joke thank goodness. It made me realize how much more comfortable the Europeans are with themselves than we are.
    I guess that’s why the fat old guys wear bikinis/Speedos and the women go topless.


  3. jalal michael sabbagh.

    Interesting post some what a puzzle.There are so many answers,which are the right and which would be false? Thank you for stopping by..Regards.jalal


  4. ksbalch

    you DO post THE most mind-tickling posts, naomi dear. WHAT will you surprise us with next???? in terms of “clothing optional,” i suspect this is kin to “swim at your own risk,” right? i mean you’re either a renegade for risking it or a card-carrying puritan for taking them at their own word and actually donning a wrap.


  5. Andrew

    nice set of questions. a resident from my program used to go to an “N” resort. I can tell you stories. He’d come back with pictures. oy!


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