Hon, if you read my last post you’ll know what the “N” in The “N” Resort stands for. If not, let me fill you in. It stands for naked, as in your birthday suit, as in sans clothing! On a van ride from the airport in Jamaica, I chatted with a friendly, funny and extremely tan couple who frequent the resort. Since discovering what “N” stands for, questions have swirled in my head like hot fudge swirled on ice cream with a cherry on top!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging. As far as I’m concerned, just because I’m not comfortable parading around like the Emperor who lost his clothes doesn’t mean other people shouldn’t. In fact, I’d be considered a heretic by the Puritans (why I’m not that modest might be a future blog post), and my teenagers would tell you that what comes out of my mouth is completely inappropriate (motto for getting through the teenage years with triplets: Puberty is fun!).
But, everyone has their comfort level and putting on something to go out in public is mine. Besides, I studied fashion and there’s always a cute new bathing suit, coverup, t-shirt, shorts and dress to wear!
Here are my Top Ten Questions For Visitors To The “N” Resort:
1. Is it SANS clothing or clothing OPTIONAL?
2. So, you don’t get dressed up for dinner?
3. Question # 2 leads me to…Do you eat all your meals in your birthday suit?
4. What kind of chairs do you sit on? Metal gets hot, plastic and leather are sticky and cloth just doesn’t seem sanitary. Wood–the chairs must be wood. Oh, but what about splinters?
5. Are the waiters and waitresses also in their birthday suits? The bartender? The lifeguards?
6. Do you reapply sunblock? This is an important question, trust me! I’ll explain in a future blog post.
7. Isn’t it awkward if you bump into someone, bend over, or have a “food baby belly” after a big meal? (sorry if I’m getting too graphic but once you’ve been pulled in, there’s no turning back!)
8. Do you wear pajamas to bed?
The last two questions I can ask on a G-rated blog…
9. What happens if you’re happy? (really happy!)
10. And…what’s “in?” Does it depend on what part of the world you’re from? Dense forests? Forests cleared for subdivisions? Or deforestation?
Do you have any G-rated questions? Or answers to my Top Ten? If so, hon, I’d love to hear them!
Naomi M. Gruer 