Gutter Mouth Part 2 (or the Top Ten Things I’d Rather Talk About Than Gutters)


In my last post, I described how our leaky gutters and a self-described gutter expert led to 6 months of drama in our house.

Hubby became obsessed with both Al (also known as Gutter Mouth or G.M.), his excuses and our leaky gutter/ crumbling plaster ceiling situation.  Hubby and G.M. exchanged countless e-mails in that time.  An example of a typical text thread:

Hubby, “So the weather forecast says sun for the whole week.  When can you come by?  I’d like a specific date.”

 G.M., “I’ll be by Monday, for sure.  You can count on me, Pal.  No hard feelings?”

But, Monday would roll around, then Tuesday and Wednesday, with cockamamie excuses from G.M. about why he couldn’t make it.  Hubby had had enough.  He asked for our money back and wanted to take action.  I said to wait, since he lives in our town and all.  As the months flew by, Hubby went from irritation to anger to incensed until Gutter Mouth was just about all he talked about.  The whole affair made Hubby cranky, and a cranky Hubby makes a cranky wife!

Top Ten Things I’d Rather Talk About Than Gutters:

  1. Is there life on Mars?
  2. Is Pluto a planet or not?
  3. Will aliens who previously lived on Pluto emigrate to Mars?
  4. Global warming’s effect on the North Pole.
  5. Smog in L.A.
  6. Celebrities who are famous for doing absolutely nothing.
  7. Why the concrete in a parking garage being built in my town is defective and how much money it will cost the taxpayers to rip it out?
  8. Why a member of the Historic Commission wanted to know what kind of nails we would use when we did work on the house.
  9. Is Times Square truly gentrified when the Naked Cowboy, Naked Cowgirl, Naked American Indian in feathered headdress and Naked Hippie who hangs a bra from her guitar are running around willy nilly?
  10. Football, Curling or Golf.  (Okay, that’s three things but they’re under ONE category!)

4 thoughts on “Gutter Mouth Part 2 (or the Top Ten Things I’d Rather Talk About Than Gutters)

  1. I can’t blame you for wanting to talk about anything but that situation. How extremely frustrating. By the way, did you tell the historic commission you traveled back in time and picked up the kind of building materials in vogue back then so that you could be authentic as you worked on the house?


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