The Line In The Sand


St. Patrick's Day Parade
St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Saturday March 16, my college-aged daughter, her friend visiting from Seattle and I planned to spend a day at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in Manhattan.  Another college friend from Westchester would meet us there.  But, we didn’t do our homework.

We guessed the St. Patrick’s Day parade would be the next day, March 17, but we were wrong. The horde of young adults wearing green was the first sign it would be an unusual day.  The second sign was that most of them were drunk.  And it was 11am.

While waiting for an uptown bus, we made small talk with other passengersA line in the sand was drawn.  On one side were the sober people and on the other side were the St. Patrick’s Day revelers.

Cast of characters we met that unusual day.

Vinnie:  Vinnie from Long Island was also going uptown.  Seventy-seven, married and a grandfather, Vinnie was going shopping on Fifth Avenue.  We said we were going to the Met.  “I’ve lived in New York my whole life and I’ve never been there.” (Hard to believe but WHATEVAH!)  Fancy shops on Fifth Avenue came and went.  My daughter, her friend and I exited the bus.  Guess who was right behind us?  Vinnie.  We checked our coats at the Met.  Guess who was right behind us?  Vinnie, again!

First Army Dude:  We caught the tail end of the St. Patty’s Day parade.  An army battalion marched in front of us and I saluted, “Thank you!”  My daughter’s eyes rolled back in her head and her friends cracked up.  One of the army guys called out to us, “You need more to drink!”

Daniel:  Daniel, an intoxicated twenty-something, rode the same bus downtown.  He bragged about his job at J.P. Morgan Chase, his intelligence, how he didn’t finish college and how he reports directly to the CEO, Jamie Dimon.  (Hard to believe but WHATEVAH!)  In a bizarre coincidence, he knew our guest’s sister from Seattle.  Daniel swayed as he sat, got loud and mean and then passed out.

Second Army Dude:  Just as Daniel passed out, an Army dude boarded the bus.  He told me Army statistics, how old his son is and then flashed a pearly white smile, “Now is the time to tell me I don’t look old enough to have a twenty-eight year old!”

Drunken College Guy:  Getting to Penn Station with minutes to spare, we ran to the track along with a crowd.  Immediately, Drunken College Guy spotted my daughter and her friend.  DCG proceeded to slur, “Where do you go to college?”  “Skidmore,” they answered.  “More what?” DCG slurred.  “Skidmore, you know, College,” they said.  “More what?”  DCG slurred again.  (For real?  WHATEVAH!)

We had never met so many “interesting” people in one day.  It had been fun, but we were ready to go home. Then the conductor came by and informed us that we were on the wrong train!  Oy! The right train and the wrong train must have been on adjacent tracks.

We ended up at Newark Liberty International Airport, took an Airtram to the main terminal and got picked up by my hubby.

Thanks, hubby, for the ride and for understanding that you may end up at the airport even if you’re on the sober side of the line!


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